The Measure of Worth!

How do you measure your worth?

Regardless of your position-Mom, Sister, Wife, or Employee….

Do you measure your worth by -:

  • How much money do you make?
  • How do others respond to you?
  • How well dressed you are?
  • How big your house is?

I could go on and on.

The true measure of one’s worth is found

  • in the value, we add to other people’s lives
  • in how they experience us
  • lastly in the love that we give.

When it’s all said and done, it boils down to love and service.

  • How we love others.
  • We show them by serving them.

When we serve, we are adding value.

By allowing others to have a warm and loving experience when they encounter us.

When we serve others, we should do so, not because we love them, but because we love to.

Serve because you love to.

As Always, Cleave to what is good!!


Blame or Responsibility

I was walking home one day from school and saw 2 teenagers arguing. Apparently, they had been assigned a history project and they had both received an F.

Because it was a group project, I did not see how they had failed, having followed all the instructions. I decided to dig deeper. What I found out was that only one of them had done the project as a favor to the friend. The teacher found out.

Blame and responsibility are two words that get confused and misused all the time.

Merriam Webster’s definition of Blame:
  • to express one’s unfavorable opinion of the worth or quality of
  • responsibility for wrongdoing or failure
  • the state of being held as the cause of something that needs to be set right

Who was to blame for the failed grade?

Merriam Webster’s definition of responsibility:
  1. the quality or state of being responsible: such as:
    • a: moral, legal, or mental accountability
    • b: Reliability, Trustworthiness
  2. something for which one is responsible: Burden

Who is responsible for the failed grade?

The one that did not do the work or the one that did the work? Why?

All Experiences Are Good

Is it true that all experiences, delightful and bad lead to good? Really! How can a bad experience lead to good? It is easier for me to imagine how a happy experience can have a positive outcome. For instance, you have always had a dream of becoming a chef but have never taken the necessary steps to achieve your dream. After visiting a restaurant, on a Sunday afternoon, you have a meal to die for. This might inspire to go home and recreate the same meal. With your new zeal, the results are good enough that you are stirred up to start your own business recreating gourmet dishes. Next, you know, you are writing a cookbook or you might be the next name in every household. That is what I call a pleasing experience leading to good.   On the flip side, most bad experiences are really bad, the worst of them being the loss of a loved one. How can these encounters lead to a wonderful outcome? That is mind-boggling to me and I do not have an answer. What I got from the statement was that we can use that energy we have through the experience for a better good. Experience being the unrivaled teacher, it is from our pain that we can have more empathy for someone going through the same. Make your mess your message. What helped you most during your process? Was it the silence of a friend? Then be quiet when your friend is grieving. Was it a card in the mail from an acquaintance whom you haven’t talked to in over 2 years? Then spend those two bucks and send the card. You never know, you might be starting a lifelong friendship with that acquaintance.   Cleave to what is good and you will see a positive change in your life. It is in those moments when the road seems easier if we took the exit that we have to determine in our hearts and challenge ourselves. After all, it is easier to give excuses and dwell onto that which is unpleasant. Change leads to the betterment of us, those around us, and especially those we love. That is the only way to grow. It is common to ask a child what they want to be when they grow up. I think this is a question we should ask ourselves on a daily basis. So long as today is called today, we should always aspire to grow and get better than yesterday. Body, spirit, and mind.   If we keep getting disappointed about where we are, we will never get to where we want to be. Instead, start being optimistic about where you are going. This is complex because we are accustomed to looking at what we are instead of what we can or want to be. Keep your eyes on the goal. I will give you an example. When you are driving down the road and see something of interest on the right side. If you look at it long enough, guess where your car will start turning. Yes, you got it. The car will start turning towards what you are looking at.   Does my personal culture reflect positivity?   Cultivating a positive culture is key to getting from where we are, to where we want to be. No one wants to stay in the bad experiences forever. A character trait of optimism is having a sense of hopefulness and confidence about the future. I have had the privilege of visiting an Amish community and it was one of the best experiences I have had. I cannot think or hear the word pattern without remembering the beautiful, intricately made quilts that I saw during my visit. So, when I read the definition of the word culture as being an integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior, my mind immediately went to the quilts.   First and foremost, it is important to remember that there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. I looked up the verses in Ecclesiastes 3 1-8 and “…have no time for that” was not included. God has given us enough time in a day to do what he has equipped us to accomplish. So, be kind to yourself and take one step at a time, just do not procrastinate. How we chose to use time determines if we are will get the change we want or not.   What have I knitted into my pattern of life?   The pattern of negativity is a big hindrance in life. Truth is that as long as we are on earth, we will always get disappointed, discouraged, and also get hurt. What we do about it is what makes a difference. It all starts in the mind. Pay close attention to your thoughts. The patterns of our thoughts affect our action. Whenever you notice the same pattern that got you to where you are, know that it is not the truth. In Philippians 4:8, we are told to think those things that are true. The devil will always want to play with our minds and it is our job to refuse the advances he throws at us.   What knowledge have I acquired thus far?   Truth be told. God loves us so much. Believe in Him. He is a happy God and knowing this truth and living it is the best gift we can give ourselves. Our behavior should reflect a positive culture, just as God wants us to live. We can boost our positive behavior by building a tribe of positive people. Think of a herd of elephants. As long as they stay together, a pride of lions cannot attack them. If one of the elephants gets isolated from the group, the pride of lions can take it down. Do not isolate yourself. You will be just opening a way for the devil’s attack. There is safety in numbers.   But ye that did cleave unto the Lord your God are alive every one of you this day.

I feel you girl!

Photo by Hian Oliveira

Why is it easy for some people to cry while others don’t? If you come across a friend in distress, crying their heart out, what would you do? If you are like me, most likely you will start tearing up too. Why is this so?

We are born with emotions and we express them in response to our mental and physical state. When we see someone cry, it could be an indication that we feel their pain, or whatever they are going through.

In Galatians 6:2 we are told to bear one another’s burden.  Walk with them through the pain. Help them carry it but don’t transfer the burden. It only makes it lighter when two or more people are carrying it. Let’s be ready to comfort one another in love.

What are your feeding on?

Growing up, we did not have running water in the house. We either depended on a nearby river or a neighbor’s well. The well was not mechanical with a pump and all. No. It was a manual operation. A bucket tied to a rope, thrown into the well, and when one heard the sound of the bucket hitting the water, the next feeling would be the bucket sinking in and getting heavy. That is when one knew that it is time to pull, and eventually, the bucket, full of water will surface. The quality of water depended on everyone in the neighborhood. As it often happened, if someone forgot to put a cover back on the well, leaves would fall in, or that neighborhood child, who thought it was funny, would throw rocks into the well. If we got the water from the river, the same principle applied. Although we did not have a cover for the river, we all had an understanding that we should not throw stuff in the river. In both scenarios, the timing needed to be perfect. When it came to the river, we had to get the water very early in the morning before all the animals came in for their daily drink. Also because that is when the water was mostly clean. Our heart is the well that needs covering.  What is in the well will always come up in the bucket. Are you covering your well? Are you covering your mind with things that will eventually clog your well? Who is the neighborhood child throwing rocks in your well? One way to cover your well is to avoid feeding into negativity. Fill your mind with Godly thoughts. Getting up early in the morning for a time of fellowship with God. It is the time of day that your mind is most calm. Are you covering your well? Every time I dunked the bucket in the well, I expected to get water in return. What should people expect when they approach you? What is in the well comes out in the bucket. Cleave to what is good!!