Emotions and Energy.

How do you handle emotions? Do you let them control you or do you control them?

What I learned this week is that I can improve my quality of life by learning how to control my emotions. I also learned that I operate best when I am experiencing positive energy and I am able to lead effectively. There is less friction in my relationships too. 

I took the following steps to bounce back to the positive energy:

      • Deep abdominal breaths, exhaling slowly
      • told someone that I appreciated them
      • changed the dialog in my head. 

To change the dialog in my head, I asked myself three questions:

      • Is this situation true?
      • will it matter in six months?
      • how can I grow from the situation?

The quality of energy improved, and I was able to control my emotions positively. I was more productive, there was less friction, and I accomplished more.

Who Do You Think You are?

Ouch! I cringe as I write the title. Whenever that question is asked, it usually doesn’t come from a place of love. It is normally in the middle of a heated conversation. An argument. And yet it is a question we should be asking ourselves every morning when we get up. Or throughout the day.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. Proverbs  23:7
Thoughts are powerful. God has given us this phenomenon to us- the ability to think. To create the words and experiences we want, we need to change our thinking.

Love. Change. Live!

I was reflecting on this question. When your friend messes up, what do you say to them? “It’s going to be ok”

You look for ways to make her feel better.

When you mess up, what do you say to yourself?

I guess if you are like me, you are always hard on yourself.

We did not learn self-compassion.

Let us turn the tide.

Teach your child self-compassion. Better still, learn it together. Practice it and ask to hold each other accountable.  It will reflect in all areas of their lives. There is not a better time to learn. You are the perfect person to learn from.

You see, when you educate a child, you are not just transferring information, you are changing a life.

Love. Change. Live!

My Growth as a Mom!

It is May 10th, 2020. It is the day that is set aside to celebrate our mothers. To recognize all that they do for us. The valleys and mountains they walk with us. A special thank you goes to my children. Without them, I would not have this honorable title. They call me mom because I birthed them. I do not take it for granted because the lessons they have taught me are so precious, I am a better person because of my kids. How I have grown!!

In Prayer

I have relied on God to give me the strength to bring up His children in the way they should go. I pray for them daily and I also pray for their future husbands. I pray for their education and for their careers. They have taught me to pray and to be strong.

In Finding Joy

There is nothing like a child’s joy. A smile from the time they wake up to the time they come to give you a goodnight hug. We call it a “squeezie” because it has to be as tight as possible. That smile and a heart full of joy make it easy to forget the hard times. They have taught me to smile and be joyful.

Discipline

You can’t give what you do not have. In my quest to teach them, I have had to make sure that my tank is full first before they get up. I run to the Well every morning for my fill. I have had to learn to discipline myself in so many ways. What I watch and what I read. They have taught me to stick with it and be disciplined.

In defining Happiness

I have learned to create many positive experiences for us as a family. These are things that we will remember with fondness in years to come. That is what I call happiness. Even when things are tough, I look for a way out. It can be a hug or breakfast for dinner.  They have taught me what it means to be happy.

This week, I had asked all my siblings to tell me of facts they remember about our dear mom. It was very refreshing to read all they told me. One thing that stood out most was that she gave her all and her best in everything she did. She put others first.

I saw that this is one of the most distinctive traits or call it a lesson, that I inherited from her. I have a servant’s heart.

Thank you mom.

It Shall be Well!

To say that we are living in a stressful time is an understatement. Is there a solution to all this? I believe so. Listen to this.
Matthew 11:28  Come to me, all (ye) that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
​If you are like me, that verse is very familiar and maybe you already have memorized it. It refers to us taking all our troubles to The Lord who will bear it for us. What an appropriate verse to fall back to at this time of isolation and quarantine! Everyone’s life has been turned upside down. Parents who dreamed of a job where they could work from home have gotten their wish. Yes, no more of Atlanta’s neck to neck traffic. Yes, no more long waits at the bus station for those that rely on public buses in other countries. What complicates the whole scenario is that the kids are home too. Yes, they get to stay home all day. Yes, there is no bullying during recess or during the ride home on the school bus. The school has moved home as well. The traffic stress has been replaced by the stress of managing work and keeping the kids up to date with their school work. Another dilemma is that most of the teachers have to keep up with the class and their own children. How about those essential workers? How is everyone coping with all this? I have a few tips.
  • Pray. Read God’s word over and over. Saturate yourself with His word.
  • Practice self-compassion when you don’t get everything completed
  • Seek professional help. Sometimes it seems like you have reached the end of your rope. Don’t do it alone.
  • No man is an island and there is not a better time than this to rely on your good friends.  Do not keep it all in.
  • Some parents have been homeschooling for a long time. Seek them out and ask for advice or help. You might be surprised at how much help they can be.
  • Plan appropriately. Time management can be the key to all the stress piled on us.

Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
That is not a request. We are commanded to:-
  • Be strong
  • be courageous
  • don’t fear
There is hope in the Lord that this too shall pass. We do not know when the pandemic will end, nor do we know how life will be after all this. One thing remains constant.
God is love. He is good.
Cleave to what is good!

Turning a New Leaf?!

When the new year rolls around, it is very likely that you set new goals or resolutions that you want to accomplish throughout the new year. Maybe you chose a word that will be your focus for the year, or possibly a phrase or a motto to use as your compass for the year. According to the dictionary, a motto is a quotation or phrase chosen as encapsulating the beliefs or ideals guiding someone, family, or institution. One particular quotation that comes to mind is my high school motto. “Forward ever, Backward never” This was printed on our shirts, yes we had uniforms. and sweaters. Several decades have passed since I thought about that clause. At that time, this phrase did not mean much to me, but now in my adult life, I see that it is a meaningful one to inspire one to aim higher in life and meet the goals or aspirations that one desires. Come with me and break down this phrase. The first part “Forward Ever”  means that we are going to put one foot in front of the other and start matching.  Realize that whatever you focus on will eventually increase. Focus on what is ahead of you. The goal you want to attain is the joy ahead of you. Your banner.

Philippians 3:13

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,”


I am sure you have heard the saying that a journey of a mile starts with just one step. It is the little steps that we make that bring us closer to where we want to be. Establish what those little steps are for you. Map out your journey to the outcome you want. Make a list. The joy in making a list is crossing it out. Every little development we make in our lives is a step toward our goals. Arm yourself with diligence, ingenuity, and consistency. By being diligent, you have to make your goal a priority. Care enough about your success and repeat what will bring it to fruition. The Bible has a lot to say about diligence. What caught my attention is that the word is mentioned as contrary to laziness. It yields progress, profit, satisfaction, and also leadership.

Proverbs 12:24

The hands of the diligent shall bear rule, but the slothful shall be under tribute.


Proverbs 12:27

The lazy do not roast any game, but the diligent feed on the riches of the hunt.


When it comes to ingenuity, this is where your true character gets to shine. It is the creativeness of your personality that will get you to the ultimate destination. You and I might have the same goal and have a totally different approach to it. For instance, if your goal is to lose weight, you might join a local gym and I might opt to buy workout equipment instead. You are all unique in your own way and that is what makes you special. Tap into that originality and you will succeed. As your character gets to shine, it will also be tested. Consistently doing what is new to you is going to be challenging at first. The good this is that this is when true growth happens. You chose that particular goal for a reason. One way to stay consistent is to schedule a time to work on your accomplishments. Life has a way of getting in the way, so make sure you set time aside and put it on the calendar. It might be a good idea to have someone to hold you accountable.

Proverbs 27:17​

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.


1 Corinthians 15:58​

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.​


I will close with something I learned from watching an animal channel the other day. Apparently, in the frozen tundra, food is so scarce that late in the spring when the sun warms up the earth, thousands and thousands of reindeer descend on the thawing ground in search of vegetation. Sometimes they have to walk for days without stopping. Even the young ones know to do that. That is extraordinary endurance. The flip side to this is that the reindeer have an enemy. The biting flies, who also happen to have a very strong tenacity. That is why the reindeer needs to keep walking. When they cannot take it anymore, the reindeer knows to go to higher grounds where the flies cannot go. In the same way, you should elevate yourself to the levels that those who want to bite you cannot go. We all have a past. That should not be your focus. The past needs to remain as such. Behind us. Just keep walking. Forward Ever!!

Why We Met!

The temperatures are in the fifties and believe it or not, it is December! In Georgia! No heavy coats, no boots, and no gloves. After all, it is the south. When most of the country is enjoying a white Christmas, the south was as brown as it can be. Last week I had a visit from my friend Cheryl who lives in Ohio. She and her family had not been to Georgia and could not believe that they could go hiking. To them, fifty degrees felt like we were experiencing a heatwave. Our friends could not believe that they had left behind four feet of snow in the ground. “This feels great”. I will come back to that later. Stick around! The term friend has come to mean a lot of different things, credit to the new and emerging society powered by social media. For instance, a person can be your friend even if you have never physically met them. If they follow you on Facebook, they are considered your friends. They may not necessarily be people you now. They can be your friends because they like what you posted.  How do you define friendship? If you were to look at all the people that you know, you will notice that you relate to them at different levels. There are some that are friends by involvement, people you do things with. This could be your co-workers or someone you meet at a gym class. Other friends are in your life because of their trustworthiness and dependability. A special level of friendship involves those that, not only are they associated and loyal to you, but there also exists a level of affection between you. The Webster dictionary goes farther to state that a friend is one whose company you desire and you seek to promote their happiness and prosperity. How is this demonstrated in the Bible? In both the Old and New Testament, we can see how all these levels of friendship demonstrated. The life of Jesus on earth is a good example of how we should live ours. He proved His affection for us by coming to earth as a human and dying on the cross for us. Not only did He have affection, But He was also associated with all ranks of the human race. The fishermen, the tax collectors, and even traitors. Yet He called them friends. Back to my friend Cheryl. When we lived in the same city, we saw each other each week because we were in the same homeschool co-op. We did 4-H together, and other such activities. Although we were separated by about 700 miles, that did not present a barrier in our friendship. As it so happened, Cheryl found herself in a situation where she needed assurance and guidance and most importantly, prayers for one of her sons who was out of the country on a mission trip.  In Africa. Having knowledge about the place and the culture, I was able to help her navigate the waters and being there for her when she needed me most. Our friendship was transformed. It moved from one of association to one of dependability and loyalty. It is a clear demonstration of an African proverb that states “ndugu ni makinya” meaning it takes steps from both sides to develop a great friendship. Just like in a telephone call, if there is no response one on the other side of the line, it cannot be called a conversation. I love this family and I am glad we kept in touch with this dear family. People cross our paths all the time. We may not know why but God always knows. You have people on your contact list. You might have met them at the park, at the library or at one of your kids’ activities. Start there. Invest in your friends and you will have a rich life. We all have something to share. I have heard it said that the graveyard is the richest place on earth because of all the unfulfilled dreams buried there. I would like to counter that and say that the earth is the richest place because of all the friends around us that could help us fulfill those dreams. People whom we will want to see prosper and happy, and they will wish the same for us. A friend loveth at all times. Be a friend.

Never Seen Before

Have you ever met a prayer warrior? The kind of person that you can always count on to pray for and with you? That is the kind of friend we all need in our corner. Have you ever thought to listen to how they pray? Do they have a certain pattern to their prayer? What does that say about them and their prayers? It is in these moments that we can learn more about the person praying and a little bit about their character. My mom was a prayer warrior. Not just one to say that I will pray for you and forget about it the minute you are out of sight. No. She meant it and always did it. The most fascinating thing about her morning prayer is that she always started her prayer with, “…Thank you for a new day, one that I have never seen before. Many would have loved to see it but did not…” This phrase is engraved in my mind and it is one that I have adapted. It is so profound to me that I just marvel at how powerful those words are. Every morning is not only a gift, but it is a miracle. What is the definition of the word miracle? According to the dictionary, it is a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency. And yet, do we view it as a welcome event or have we gotten so used to the act of waking up in the morning that we forget that we might not see another one again? You know how you just pick up a book at the library just because the title looked interesting? I recently did that. The title of the book is Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I was halfway into the book and I had not thought much about the title. One day, it hit me like a brick that I literary stopped in the middle of a jog. Miracle morning. What is it? Why did the author choose this title? I do not know why but I think it is very appropriate. Mornings are the only time in life when you have an opportunity to truly start afresh. If I were an artist, I would look at a new day as a blank canvas. Very white, all waiting for me to “create” a masterpiece. We should look at our lives as a masterpiece work of art. In the song, One day at a time, there is a sentence that says, Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never be mine. I watched my mom take her last breath. It was early in the morning, 6:32 am. It was a new day that she did not get to see (and many more). Her words were true then and they remain true to date. My prayer to whoever reads this is that you will continue to make a masterpiece out of your life. One that you will be proud of. One that, when all is said and done, those you leave behind will say, that was an awesome art. A life well-lived. And above all. The Author of all life will say, Well done, good and faithful servant! …… Come and share your master’s happiness! Matthew 25:23

Books That Inspire Me!

Although The Holy Bible is the first and most inspiring book to me, I do not feel that I should put it in this list simply because it is equal to none and I will not be doing the authors listed here any justice by putting them on the same list as The Bible. I believe that The Bible is God’s word to me. As I continue to travel this journey, I have come across people that, in their giftedness of writing, have made a difference in my life. I am thankful to them for using their talent to inspire people like me who find joy in written words.