How do you handle emotions? Do you let them control you or do you control them?
What I learned this week is that I can improve my quality of life by learning how to control my emotions. I also learned that I operate best when I am experiencing positive energy and I am able to lead effectively. There is less friction in my relationships too.
I took the following steps to bounce back to the positive energy:
- Deep abdominal breaths, exhaling slowly
- told someone that I appreciated them
- changed the dialog in my head.
To change the dialog in my head, I asked myself three questions:
- Is this situation true?
- will it matter in six months?
- how can I grow from the situation?
The quality of energy improved, and I was able to control my emotions positively. I was more productive, there was less friction, and I accomplished more.
How do you measure your worth?
Regardless of your position-Mom, Sister, Wife, or Employee….
Do you measure your worth by -:
- How much money do you make?
- How do others respond to you?
- How well dressed you are?
- How big your house is?
I could go on and on.
The true measure of one’s worth is found
- in the value, we add to other people’s lives
- in how they experience us
- lastly in the love that we give.
When it’s all said and done, it boils down to love and service.
- How we love others.
- We show them by serving them.
When we serve, we are adding value.
By allowing others to have a warm and loving experience when they encounter us.
When we serve others, we should do so, not because we love them, but because we love to.
Serve because you love to.
As Always, Cleave to what is good!!
I was walking home one day from school and saw 2 teenagers arguing. Apparently, they had been assigned a history project and they had both received an F.
Because it was a group project, I did not see how they had failed, having followed all the instructions. I decided to dig deeper. What I found out was that only one of them had done the project as a favor to the friend. The teacher found out.
Blame and responsibility are two words that get confused and misused all the time.
Merriam Webster’s definition of Blame:
- to express one’s unfavorable opinion of the worth or quality of
- responsibility for wrongdoing or failure
- the state of being held as the cause of something that needs to be set right
Who was to blame for the failed grade?
Merriam Webster’s definition of responsibility:
- the quality or state of being responsible: such as:
- a: moral, legal, or mental accountability
- b: Reliability, Trustworthiness
- something for which one is responsible: Burden
Who is responsible for the failed grade?
The one that did not do the work or the one that did the work? Why?
Ouch! I cringe as I write the title.
Whenever that question is asked, it usually doesn’t come from a place of love. It is normally in the middle of a heated conversation. An argument. And yet it is a question we should be asking ourselves every morning when we get up. Or throughout the day.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
Thoughts are powerful. God has given us this phenomenon to us- the ability to think. To create the words and experiences we want, we need to change our thinking.
I was reflecting on this question. When your friend messes up, what do you say to them? “It’s going to be ok”
You look for ways to make her feel better.
When you mess up, what do you say to yourself?
I guess if you are like me, you are always hard on yourself.
We did not learn self-compassion.
Let us turn the tide.
Teach your child self-compassion. Better still, learn it together. Practice it and ask to hold each other accountable. It will reflect in all areas of their lives. There is not a better time to learn. You are the perfect person to learn from.
You see, when you educate a child, you are not just transferring information, you are changing a life.
Love. Change. Live!
It is May 10th, 2020. It is the day that is set aside to celebrate our mothers. To recognize all that they do for us. The valleys and mountains they walk with us. A special thank you goes to my children. Without them, I would not have this honorable title. They call me mom because I birthed them. I do not take it for granted because the lessons they have taught me are so precious, I am a better person because of my kids. How I have grown!!
I have relied on God to give me the strength to bring up His children in the way they should go. I pray for them daily and I also pray for their future husbands. I pray for their education and for their careers. They have taught me to pray and to be strong.
In Finding Joy
There is nothing like a child’s joy. A smile from the time they wake up to the time they come to give you a goodnight hug. We call it a “squeezie” because it has to be as tight as possible. That smile and a heart full of joy make it easy to forget the hard times. They have taught me to smile and be joyful.
You can’t give what you do not have. In my quest to teach them, I have had to make sure that my tank is full first before they get up. I run to the Well every morning for my fill. I have had to learn to discipline myself in so many ways. What I watch and what I read. They have taught me to stick with it and be disciplined.
In defining Happiness
I have learned to create many positive experiences for us as a family. These are things that we will remember with fondness in years to come. That is what I call happiness. Even when things are tough, I look for a way out. It can be a hug or breakfast for dinner. They have taught me what it means to be happy.
This week, I had asked all my siblings to tell me of facts they remember about our dear mom. It was very refreshing to read all they told me. One thing that stood out most was that she gave her all and her best in everything she did. She put others first.
I saw that this is one of the most distinctive traits or call it a lesson, that I inherited from her. I have a servant’s heart.
Thank you mom.
In a period of 6 months, a little known city in China has become a household name. No one knew about Wuhan China. It was not in the school course. We did not have to learn about it for the ACT or SAT or for any significant purposes. Unfortunately, this little city will forever be associated with the greatest human change in recent history. The coronavirus pandemic.
In the blink of an eye what came out of Wuhan made the whole entire world cease to operate in whatever routine that we all called normal for the last century. Masks have become part of our everyday attire. In addition to parenting their children, every parent with a school-aged child has a new role. They are responsible for their school work.
Children are doing their school at home. This should not be confused with homeschooling, mainly because the parents are not in control of the learning material. The teacher provides all the material and the parent is expected to report to the teacher all that the child has done. In true homeschool scenarios, the parent is responsible for the material and the results of their child’s education.
In a true homeschool world, the parent is free to be creative and flexible to adjust according to the child’s learning style. This makes it less stressful and actually enjoyable. It becomes a lifestyle and the parent is at liberty to make every opportunity a learning moment.
I work with parents who seek an alternative to public school for their children’s education. I inspire them to align their values with the goals they have for their children. If you want to learn how to homeschool your child, feel free to contact me and I will show you how. I can coach you to succeed in this journey. It would be the best gift you can give your child.
Are you thinking of homeschooling? This 5 steps will set you on a good start.
When you decide to homeschool, most likely there will be people in your circle who will not support, or understand your decision. It is important that you enter into this journey with the right mindset. Do not doubt yourself. Know that with every new thing that we introduce in our life, there is going to be fear. The thing is, fear is unfounded. It is a way for your brain to try to protect you. Set your mind to a life of positive stance and you will succeed. Have confidence. You can do this. You can do it and do it well.
Just like your fingers are all of a different height, homeschooling is not going to be the same from family to family. Better still, it will look different for each child you have to homeschool. You will be doing yourself an injustice if you start comparing yourself to others. We all have our own path to walk and they will never look the same. Embrace yours and match on.
This is by far the most important task you will undertake. Take care of any legal paperwork that needs filing. Spend some time to learn how you will adjust your life to suit the new lifestyle. As you are planning, remember to leave room for flexibility. Set aside a day or a week to go through the different books, curriculums, and activities you will be undertaking. For instance, if you want to include piano to your school, take some time to find a teacher, if you going to outsource.
No man is an Island. Don’t do it alone. There are so many great parents out there who have walked the journey you are about to undertake. Reach out to them. They will soon become your biggest cheerleaders and role models. Outsource what you feel that you need to. Join a co-op. This will give you and the children a chance to interact with others and will become your tribe. You will need a good support system and this will be one step to creating life long friends.
Homeschool is a very good foundation for building solid relationships with your child. Not only that, but you will also be amazed at the firm friendship that is built among the siblings and as a whole family. It is a lifestyle that presents very unique opportunities that are equal to no other. Most importantly, you have a chance to instill in your children your values and beliefs.
To say that we are living in a stressful time is an understatement. Is there a solution to all this? I believe so. Listen to this.
Come to me, all (ye) that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
If you are like me, that verse is very familiar and maybe you already have memorized it. It refers to us taking all our troubles to The Lord who will bear it for us. What an appropriate verse to fall back to at this time of isolation and quarantine!
Everyone’s life has been turned upside down. Parents who dreamed of a job where they could work from home have gotten their wish. Yes, no more of Atlanta’s neck to neck traffic. Yes, no more long waits at the bus station for those that rely on public buses in other countries.
What complicates the whole scenario is that the kids are home too. Yes, they get to stay home all day. Yes, there is no bullying during recess or during the ride home on the school bus. The school has moved home as well. The traffic stress has been replaced by the stress of managing work and keeping the kids up to date with their school work. Another dilemma is that most of the teachers have to keep up with the class and their own children. How about those essential workers?
How is everyone coping with all this? I have a few tips.
- Pray. Read God’s word over and over. Saturate yourself with His word.
- Practice self-compassion when you don’t get everything completed
- Seek professional help. Sometimes it seems like you have reached the end of your rope. Don’t do it alone.
- No man is an island and there is not a better time than this to rely on your good friends. Do not keep it all in.
- Some parents have been homeschooling for a long time. Seek them out and ask for advice or help. You might be surprised at how much help they can be.
- Plan appropriately. Time management can be the key to all the stress piled on us.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
That is not a request. We are commanded to:-
- Be strong
- be courageous
- don’t fear
There is hope in the Lord that this too shall pass. We do not know when the pandemic will end, nor do we know how life will be after all this. One thing remains constant.
God is love. He is good.
Cleave to what is good!
Before you even start browsing the catalog, deciding what curriculum to use, write out your mission. What is your why? Religion? Cultural influence? Family dynamics? Whatever your reason is, write it down. Commit it to memory and put it somewhere that you can see it often. This will become your true north when things get rough, because they will. One day you will look outside and see that yellow bus and wonder why your kids are not in it. You will need your mission to keep you going.
One of the most important things to remember as you start your homeschool journey is first and foremost, you are your children’s mom. The teacher thing comes later. God brought them to the world through you. He will equip and help you bring them up to what His purpose is in their lives. So, relax and enjoy the opportunity. Homeschooling is a journey and not a race. In the end, it will become a lifestyle.
The second note to take into consideration is that all children learn differently. Some are kinesthetic learners and some are auditory learners. Knowing this and adjusting your curriculum to reflect the same will make your life so much easier. Doing so will promote mastery of the subjects, and hence the joy of learning.
Homeschooling is not school at home. Remember you have full responsibility when it comes to your children’s learning. Trying to duplicate the nuances of a regular school will rob you of the joy and elevate the stress at home. Remember, you are not restricted to timelines and schedules. For instance, if you pick to do math facts before spelling, that is ok. It is ok to do school at the park when it is nice outside.
As women, we tend to compare ourselves with others and that is no exception to homeschooling. Avoid falling into this trap. Homeschooling is different for every family. Remember, there are as many schools of thought when it comes to homeschooling as there are many homeschoolers. It would be overwhelming especially if this is your first year homeschooling.
One advantage of homeschooling is a flexible lifestyle. Life happens. It is ok to skip school and go on a trip with daddy on his business trip. Switch a lesson plan to learn about an eclipse that is happening tomorrow. Because homeschool is a lifestyle, make every opportunity a learning experience. From taking care of a newborn to grocery store trips in the middle of the day. View every day as a mystery to solve. Learning opportunities are all around us.
There will be times when you will not have an answer to their question. That is when you say, “let’s figure it out”. This will inspire them to have a love for learning. This is a skill that will help them tremendously in the future. When you show your vulnerability, you are also teaching them courage.
All being told, the key to a successful journey is consistency.
God is good.
Cleave to What is Good!